we were so little when we met. i had no idea at the time that you would have such an impact on my life, or that you would become such an important person to me later in life. i wish i had known time was limited. i wish i had known then that every breath… Continue reading for liam
Category: Death and Dying
It's been eight years since I've been able to hear your voice, see that incredible smile, and look into your eyes. As I type that, it seems insane. It feels like a lifetime. I used to come to you for almost everything. You or Chels. Now you're both gone and I'm here without you. Now… Continue reading eight years
an upsetting memory wall
Lately, or for the last 6-ish months, I have been almost entirely consumed by my grief for Chelsea. I would feel bad about it, but I think Tim understands. I think he knows that after he died I was left with just one of my two people, so it was that much harder losing her.… Continue reading an upsetting memory wall
grief is hard.
Sometimes I feel genuinely angry that I have experienced such profound loss at such a young age. It isn't fair, I tell myself. There is no God, I decide. I don't believe that I am stuck in the anger stage of grief. I think anger is just where I have landed permanently. I often think… Continue reading grief is hard.
2019 | the worst year of my life
It has been a long, long time since I have written anything. The last several months have been ROUGH. This has probably been the worst year of my life if I'm being honest. I was lucky enough to have two life long best friends. As you know, I lost T in 2012. Losing him made… Continue reading 2019 | the worst year of my life
time doesn’t heal
I had a bit of a rough day a few days ago. I briefly visited the TU campus, and it was the first time I've really been on the actual campus since the candlelight vigil the school had for T. I honestly didn't even think twice about it at first. But as we drove through… Continue reading time doesn’t heal
heartbreak and a thousand candles
Facebook is great. I love using it to connect, to express myself, and to see what everyone is up to. But every year around this time, i get these "on this day" memories on facebook. Usually it's a pretty neat feature, except for this one week. Most of the time it sucks and reopens wounds,… Continue reading heartbreak and a thousand candles
this is gonna be a tough one. it's been a little while since i've written. i have been so busy with work and really just life in general. however, these last few days have been filled with nothing but dread. knowing it was almost here. the one day i hate most out of the whole… Continue reading six years
your sixth birthday in heaven
Today you would have been 33. I wonder what your life would be like if you were still here. Would you be living here? Would you be married? Oh how I wish these weren't things to wonder about. I miss you always, but some days are harder than others. Happy Birthday Angel.
when i’m alone with my thoughts.
I have been working crazy hours. I fell asleep in my living room last night around 6pm when I got home. Which is great I guess, because I was really tired. The only problem is that I woke up at 2:30am wide awake and fully rested and I don't even have to start getting ready… Continue reading when i’m alone with my thoughts.