lately

As is the case for most people, 2020 has been on hell of a ride. This year has been absolutely bananas for me, for so many reasons. I realize I haven't written anything since the anniversary of Chelsea's death back in April, and it's honestly because life has been an absolute shit show. So I…

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grief is hard.

Sometimes I feel genuinely angry that I have experienced such profound loss at such a young age. It isn't fair, I tell myself. There is no God, I decide.  I don't believe that I am stuck in the anger stage of grief. I think anger is just where I have landed permanently. I often think…

waves

so i study grief. literally my masters degree is counseling with a focus on bereavement (grief) i am excellent in a crisis. i am incredible at comforting others that are grieving. except when it's myself. in case you don't know, the five stages of grief, as defined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, are denial anger bargaining depression…

the humor in the dark and twisty

depression, anxiety, grief, bad days, sad days, dark thoughts, dark times-some of us have many more of these than others. maybe it has something to do with it, maybe it doesn't. i have a dark sense of humor. Coping mechanism maybe? Who knows. Laughing releases endorphins so it can't be that bad. 🤷🏻‍♀️ *obviously, these…