grief is hard.

Sometimes I feel genuinely angry that I have experienced such profound loss at such a young age. It isn't fair, I tell myself. There is no God, I decide.  I don't believe that I am stuck in the anger stage of grief. I think anger is just where I have landed permanently. I often think…

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another day, another stay

so i finally moved out. on tuesday june 12th i moved out of my beautiful home that we built together. it broke my heart all over again. i'm temporarily staying with family until i can find a new place to live and until then i'll be hopping around between my immediate family members homes. after…

Living with a broken heart

i dont even know if thats an appropriate title. I certainly dont feel like im living. My entire world has been ripped from beneath my feet and the person that loved me most in this world did the ripping. I get up and get dressed and go to work but im not myself. Im some…

Drowning

I feel like I'm drowning. The slowest drowning ever. I'm alone. I'm terrified, and I'm heartbroken. This is unknown territory. I have been with the other half of my heart for literally my entire adult life. And just like that I'm alone. Sometimes I feel numb, sometimes it physically hurts. I've never been here before.…