i dont even know if thats an appropriate title. I certainly dont feel like im living. My entire world has been ripped from beneath my feet and the person that loved me most in this world did the ripping. I get up and get dressed and go to work but im not myself. Im some weird zombie of myself that i don’t recognize. I have terrible thoughts about myself that I dont recognize. Everyone keeps telling me things are going to get better, things will hurt less in time. I just dont see how. Its hard to even begin to wrap my head around the fact that the last 10 years of my life were essentially a waste of time. I have been with him since I was 19 years old. Ill be 30 soon. I dont even remember what is was like to live without him. I miss him. I love him. My heart feels as though it is broken and cant be repaired. And if all of that weren’t enough, the home we built together less than two years ago, in his name only because we got a better intrest rate, I’m losing that too. My home, my love, my life, my best friend. And he thinks I should be over the emotional part of it. Its been a week. I can’t thibk about anything other than how broken I feel. This hurts so much its unbearable.
Nicely penned.
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Beautifully said.
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